Thursday, October 02, 2008
why ... why do you have to do this to me ... has it been all my fault ... i jus want a chance to talk things out ....
why just why am i sitting here alone trying desprately to call every single number i have of you try to get your voice your sound ... any sound back into my receiver ...
you know i will be heart broken ... you know i will get depressed by what you have done ... but you did it anyway...
why why why... because i fell asleep ...
i tried ... it is 1:24 am now ... what can i say ....i really jus want to talk things out but my brain is shutting down ...
you know i called back immediately
you picked up the phone but you hang it up immediately ...
why why ... don do this to me
" no don do this to me" i said but sounds like my desprate cry isn't for anyone to hear ... all was lost and none was heard...
i regret ....
i regret trying to know why is she emoing
i regret trying to get to know why she don want to share that particular reason with me
i regret having to wake up so early every morning jus to go to my camp and yet tried to stay awake every night jus so thst i can talk to her ...
what can i do now
?
i called everywhere ... her phone ... her house ... her sisters ... what else can i do ...
all is lost at this hour ...
i cant ...
i can't sleep now ...
help me ....
i know i asked that if i am the guy you trust and believed in why can't you share the reason behind those sad and cold tone you are using ....
i know i asked if you prefer what you previous boyfriends did ... leave you alone ...
i know i doubted you ...
i am sorry ...
i purely wanted to share her grief but ended up adding more to what is already there ...
am i useless? ...
who/what am i ........
"NO,DON'T DO THIS TO ME"
what we could have been, 1:19 am.
